


The List

by 30xf



Series: 201 Days Of X Files [54]
Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 09:13:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5780107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/30xf/pseuds/30xf





	The List

After we've had the rented blue Taurus back on the road for a few minutes, I venture a look over at Mulder. He's still lost in thought, his brain turning over the details of our case repeatedly in an effort to force them to make sense. A perfectly normal thing to do, but he's worrying to the point of distraction. His jaw is clenched and the tension in his arms is enough that his muscles will be a little sore tomorrow if he doesn't relax. Every once in a while, a case just gets under your skin, and I know that, but it seems to be almost every case for Mulder lately. As such, I take it upon myself to try and bring him out of his thoughts.

"If it makes you feel any better, you're not actually on my list," I say suddenly, looking out my window at the passing scenery. 

He doesn't say anything for a moment, but I know he's onto my train of thought. It's his trick, after all, to bring up conversation threads long after they've been abandoned. And this one, about the five people we'd come back from the dead to take revenge on, has been in the back of my mind for days. "I find that hard to believe," he says finally.

"Well," I sigh, "You have made a pretty good case for yourself. But you are just slightly less infuriating than some other men I've known." I look over at him, a grin playing at the corners of my mouth.

When his eyes meet mine, he gives me a genuine smile. "That's something, I guess." He relaxes almost immediately. His forearms drop to rest on his thighs and he hooks his thumbs loosely in the bottom of the steering wheel. "It's a male dominated list then?" he asks.

I stare out the wind sheild, considering my options. I hadn't actually bothered to complete the list, but there were a few names that immediately came to mind. "If I were to seriously think about it, it would be mostly men, yes. But there was this bitch I knew when I was about thirteen..." I trail off then, not remembering exactly why I hated her until I began explaining it.

Unfortunately I've already captured his attention. "What was it about this bitch that she's on your list all these years later?"

I inhale deeply and slowly let the breath out, considering whether or not to elaborate. Finally I decide I might as well. "She gave me a nickname that sort of stuck for a while."

Mulder looks at me, and even out of the corner of my eye I can see that he's practically giddy at all the possibilities. "What was the nickname? Kids can sometimes be so perceptive and creative," he grins. 

"'No Boobs'," I say definitively, fixing him with my gaze. His grip instantly tightens on the wheel as he looks around nervously. 

When he finally looks at me again, I don't miss the slight detour his eyes take to my chest. "Well that's not very creative," he allows.

"No, but it was accurate," I admit. I turn my attention back out my window, slightly angry that the name still embarrasses me even now. 

"Kids can be assholes," he muses. I know he's sensed my embarrassment and I know I'll never hear another word about it from him. "When I was fourteen, this kid I played basketball with told the girl I liked that she probably had a bigger dick than I did. I still don't know which one of us he was insulting."

I frown, wondering the same thing. "Is that kid on your list?" I ask.

"Yes, but not for that. A few months later he 'accidentally' pantsed me in front of the same girl," he tells me, taking his hands off the wheel to make air quotes around the word accidentally.

I look at him and nod, any urge to laugh gone at the sight of his slightly reddened complexion. "Kids can be assholes," I echo. "Who else is on your list?" I ask after a moment.

He shrugs. "Without getting into specifics...a couple women I dated...a couple guys we may or may not still work with."

He's probably being honest. But his list is likely a lot longer than five people. And I get the feeling it might include family members. "What if I said I don't really want to kill any of the people on my list...but maybe just torment them a little?"

"Scully are you suggesting you want to do some haunting?" he smiles.

"That would imply I believe in ghosts," I feel the need to remind him. "No, I'm just saying I don't think I hate anyone in my life enough to want to kill them."

"Fair enough," he nods. "And who would round out your list?"

"Oh, I don't know," I sigh. "A few guys I dated...and whoever the dick is that keeps taking my parking spot in front of my building when I'm out of town."

"You have assigned parking there?"

"No. But it's my damn spot," I argue, all at once infuriated over it. I calm myself immediately when Mulder's eyes widen.

He nods. "I'm glad you downgraded from killing to haunting. That would have been extreme for a parking spot."

"I've parked there for almost four years now," I reason.

He holds up his hands in surrender. "Okay, makes sense. If I ever catch them there, you want me to slash their tires?"

"Are you actually trying to get on my list or something?" I ask, unable to hide my amusement.

He chuckles, "If you're just gonna make it a haunting list and you don't believe in ghosts, I'm far less afraid of my name being on it."

I nod, "What if I make it an 'ass-kicking' list?"

He shifts uncomfortably, "Much better idea. Much better. That's a list I'd try to avoid."

"You sticking with killing?" I ask, wondering what the women he's dated could have done to make his list.

He seems to consider the question seriously. "Can I have the people on my list get on that ass-kicking list of yours? I feel like most of them would feel much more threatened by you than me."

I shrug and then nod, "Sure, why not." That's what friends are for, after all.


End file.
